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Monday, December 15, 2008

I just can't handle it anymore!

I am so freaking tired of seeing BFP posts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh...I know that just makes me sound like a wonderful person (lol)....

So I joined the TTC After BC board back in March 08....and have since made lots of friends with a lot of the ladies on there....

But then there are ALWAYS the ladies who join...and start with a post that looks like this...

"New Here!"

Hi ladies! My name is (insert name here). I'm coming to join you! My DH and I are just so excited to start to TTC! I just went of the pill 'yada yada' last month. We are TTC our first! So if anyone has any suggestions as to what to do to help me out it would be much appreciated! I'm VERY new to all of this and I can't wait to get to know you ladies!

And that's the end of that post......

Then they seem MIA for awhile...not a regular poster to cheer on other fellow TTCers...but then...well, you know what's coming....

A month (or less) later...we get THIS post....

"OMG! I can't believe it!"

OMG ladies!!! I can't believe I'm pregnant! I just tested this morning and there is no denying it's a BFP! I was sooo not expecting to be one of those ladies who got lucky enough to get pregnant so quickly! I just want to let you guys know that I will be praying for all of you to get your BFPs too!

And then they just bounce right off to their DDC....

And I hate them.

And I can't post a "congratulations" response...because I'm not happy for them. It should be me. Not them. I am the one trying and trying and trying...not them! I hate that I feel this way...so negative!

I have become the "old faithful" poster on the TTC After BC Board. One of our hosts is not TTC right now. She has a 2 year old DD that took her 11 months to conceive. She's waiting until next summer to TTC again. Our other host joined BZ at the same time as me. She went off the pill in February. I had been off since October. She got her BFP in July. 5 months. And she wasn't even regular. She became a host shortly after she got pregnant...a host of a TTC board! Seriously?!?! Just a big fat reminder right in my face every time I log in...that she got her BFP and I didn't...and we joined at the same time...and I am still struggling while she will be holding a precious baby in April...

But don't get me wrong...I LOVE my hosts! They are so freaking awesome and supportive! It's the other women who join and move on so fast...that I'm having a hard time visiting that board.

And then the TTC 9+months Board. Our hosts are great there too. One of them already has 3 kids, but is apparently having trouble conceiving the 4th (ugh). Another has not done ANY treatments and she has been TTC for 21 months. Amazing. And then our last host, who is pretty much in the same boat as me...same amount of time TTC and everything.

I think I am going to slowly back out of my TTC After BC Board...I love those steady ladies over there...but I just can't handle the BFP posts anymore. The BFP posts on the TTC 9+ months Board are so encouraging and I am truly happy for them. But the whole "I was one of the lucky ones!" posts are just killing me...

So now that I feel like a total jerk...I think that's the end of my post. Oh, besides the fact that I am in the 2ww...and I will get my BFP on Christmas morning if AF doesn't show on Christmas Eve. Crazy, right?! It could be the best...or the worst...awesome.

5 comments:

restorethmysoul said...

I understand how you feel...I've had a lot of friends getting pregnant "on the first try" in the past year and although I am happy for them, it is still a sting. Online its way worse because you don't even know the women. Chin up, we WILL get our BFP's!

Annie said...

I agree with you 100%. I was so sick of hearing BFP posts after a month or two of TTC and I thought it was ridiculous how one of our hosts wasn't even trying to get pregnant so I backed away. But I really hope you get your Christmas miracle. I was thinking about you and some of the other woman on the TTC 9+ months board and I'd rather you guys get BFPs before me since I already have DD. That's why I haven't been posting on the board lately, I don't want people to think I'm ungrateful for DD and that I think I should get a BFP before them, because I don't. So good luck, keep us updated!

B MoM said...

yeah, I feel ya. I'm on the WTE boards. I've had to take a step back from that site as well, since i"m not even able to TTC. I think a break will probably do you good too. Stick with us bloggers... (but then again, there are some of us who will get their BFPs too). It's never ending!!!

Brooke said...

I feel the same way! I get so bent when I see those people that I barley even know getting there bfps. I am a host so I kinda have to say "congrats" usually thats all those girls will get from me. The funny thing is I wish I had been one of those girls. Its so annoying. I think its weird that you have a pg host on a ttc board. Seems a little insensative. One of the hosts on ttc in general just got prego and she is moving on to her ddc. Feel better

Nikki said...

I so agree, I don't know about you, but if I get one baby, I'd be cool, I'd ttc again maybe, but it wouldn't matter that much to me if I have at least ONE baby bouncing around the house....