Spotting Scare...

So today was just a regular day for me. I went to lunch with my dad...nothing new. I came home hoping to get a good nap in before I needed to study and before DH got home. Things definitely did not go as planned.

When I got home I went to the bathroom to pee...and when I wiped...a streak of bright red blood. Right there on the toilet paper. There was a tiny clot too. I wiped again...a slightly lighter streak. So I got up, went to the phone, and called the ObGyn. I talked to my nurse about my blood sugar levels that she was concerned about and got that resolved. Then I told her I was spotting. Bright red. She said "Are you working today?" "No...I can come in right now if you need me to..I'm free all day." "Ok, well, go ahead and call up to the front desk and tell them I need to see you." "Ok, thanks"

The front desk lady asks "How long will it take you to get here?" "Around 15 minutes" "Alright, go ahead and come in and we'll squeeze you in"

Then I call my husband "Honey...." "Yea, babe, what's up" "Um..." "Honey? What's wrong?" And I lost it. I started bawling. I couldn't even talk. "I'm....spotting. Bright red." "Ok..." "I called Fort Sanders and they said to go ahead and come in" "Ok then go" "Are you gonna come with me?" "Yea of course. I'll meet you there. Are you safe to drive?" "Yea I'll be fine" "Ok BE SAFE"

I went back to the bathroom again and wiped again. Just a slight streak again. I was bawling in the car...I called my foster mom and told her and she said my uncle had already called her. My DH was working with my uncle and had to leave...so obviously he had to tell him. I talked to her until I reached DH. I had finally calmed down. But it was SO OBVIOUS that I had been crying. My eyes were HUGE, red, and puffy. We arrived at 2:10 and were seen by 2:30. Did I mention I LOVE my ObGyn office?! Seriously. So we go into the U/S room and my nurse tells me that spotting is really normal...so I don't need to freak out just yet. We're gonna check everything out...you did the right thing coming in.

And then the U/S. The moment of truth. And we see a beautiful little blob. The first words out of my nurse's mouth were "Alright everything looks good." HALLELUJAH. DH and I both started crying. The baby has tripled in size since our last U/S less that 2 weeks ago. The heart beat is now 176 bpm. I'm still measuring 5 days behind. I was 8 weeks 4 days today, but measured 7 weeks 6 days. So I may just end up with a November baby :) She showed us the problem. I had something called (I think) a submucosal hemorrage or something like that. It was basically just a sac full of blood right next to the gestational sac. So what's happening is every time I move the sacs rub together and that will produce blood until the blood sac goes away. She said I should expect to see spotting for a few days. She put me on bed rest for the rest of the day and told me to take as much bed rest as possible for the next few days. I should only be concerned in the spotting gets heavier or if I start to have cramps with it.

Thank you Jesus for protecting our little miracle baby. We were so scared. Thank you for taking care of our little family and keeping us all safe. Please continue to give us peace of mind that you will bring this little one safely home to us in 7 months.

Week 8 of Pregnancy

Well...it has officially been 3 weeks since I found out I was pregnant! Wow time flies!

So I am anxiously awaiting a post from my dear friend, Brooke...gosh darnit woman it's been 2 freakin days! Sheesh....haha I love ya! :)

So let's talk symptoms! I am nauseous! I am tired! I have heartburn! I have a heightened sense of smell! I am thirsty! I am craving foods from my childhood! I have a headache!

I think that about sums it up. And you know what?? I LOVE IT. The other night as I woke from sleep at 3am to throw up...DH pulled back my hair for me and let me go at that trash can...and I thought "Thank you God for this pregnancy" What?! Oh yea...I said it. I was puking my brains out and my face was hurting and hot and I thanked God for this little one. This little miracle.

Now I know I haven't been blogging as much as I used to. You want to know why?? Because I am happy. I created this blog to talk about IF. I created so I could have a place to complain and give my poor DH a break. But this blog turned into something new! It became a place where I found great support and it's now where I am writing about my first pregnancy. How fascinating.

So...week 8...it's not an above average week. I'm getting sicker as I go along. DH and I went to sign up for TennCare today and food stamps and WIC. With his being laid off and me being pregnant...we look pretty pitiful. But really all we need is the TennCare. I need health insurance and DH's health benefits end at the end of the month. And it's not looking like he's getting called back. So I am starting my job back at my old after school care. I have applied to work for the school system as an interpreter in the fall. But obviously that job isnt available until then...so...I also applied to work with my local community interpreting company. I should be setting up an interview with them later this week. At least I'm hoping so. It is crazy how nervous you can get when interpreting for an interview. But oh well...I gotta do it! So in the mean time I will be working at my after school care again :)

Now for some random news...maybe Foxy can help me out on this one ;) I got a call from my ObGyn today and she was a little concerned. The first words out of her mouth on the message were "So I got your blood work today and..." And of course I'm thinking "OMG My numbers are too low! OMG!" But she continued "everything looks good except your blood sugar" "OH THANK YOU JESUS!!!!!" I about fell to the floor! "It was 136 and that's a little high so we definitely want to keep you on the Metformin. So I was thinking I may want to set you up with a diabetes dietician...so give me a call tomorrow." Yes maam, I will. Now here is my question. She says my blood sugar was 136. ok, fine. But I had just eaten before going in to my appointment and my blood was not taken until the end...about an hour and 1/2 to 2 hours after I ate. I'm thinking that she thinks this is "fasting" blood sugar. If that is the case, then 136 would be high. But if it's 2 hours after you eat it can be as high as 180 and there's nothing to worry about. So the first thing I'm going to tell her is that I DID eat before my appointment...so my blood sugar sounds about right. Does that sounds reasonable to anyone? Any suggestions??

Alright...so moving on. Cravings...hmmm....I am really liking those microwavable pizzas from Tostinos that I used to eat as a kid. They are SO BAD for you and so gross, but for some reason, I like them now! Then lets see...I'm really liking orange juice and tropical punch and fruit punch. And cereal. I think I am past the aversions stage...but I am at the point where my stomach picks out ONE THING that it wants and it wont eat anything else.

Oh...and poor DH. He found out he had the flu. I got SO MAD at him for sleeping with me while he was sick! I was like "If I get sick I cant take anything you dummy!" But I actually went to the doctor today because I have had a terrible head cold and nothing over the counter was helping. And honestly, I think the puking was mainly an effect from the coughing. You know, cough so much you throw up? yea, that seems to be me these days. And OH do I have a HEADACHE! I have had a constant headache for 2 days now at least...and I am resisting the urge to take any medicine. Mainly because I knew I would take something from the doctor for this cold because it's killing me. He gave me amoxicillin...so hopefully that will clear it up.

So no other news here except that I am graduating in a week!!! I have an exam Wednesday and then one next Monday and graduation next Wednesday! hooray!

So nothing new going here too much...next appointment isn't until May 22nd...sheesh...I'm tired of waiting already!

I've Been Tagged! And An Update.

So Brooke (love her!) tagged me to do this little game of going into my 6th folder of pictures and showing you the 6th picture...let's see what I can find....


So my 6th folder is my wedding pics...and the 6th picture is a picture of my little sister, Abby as a bridesmaid. :) She's so cute!


Now I tag...hmm....I don't think I know anyone besides Brooke that posts pics! haha But just in case...let's say B MoM and Foxy!

Now for the update! :) I am 7 weeks 2 days today...or something like that. I was in a wedding over the weekend in Kentucky. It was about a 3 1/2-4 hour drive for us. We left Friday afternoon at 12:45 and had to pick up another groomsman on the way and pick up the groom's computer on the way too and finally arrived at the church in Kentucky at 5 pm. Right in time for the rehearsal to start. Would you believe I was so pregnant that I just gave up and sat on the front pew instead of in the bridesmaid's line like I was supposed to?! Yea....I was TIRED!

Then that night all the bridesmaids stayed together at a ladies house for Emily's (yes, we have the same name!) personal shower and sleepover. We ate (and I ate, and ate, and ate!) and talked and laughed and it was fun. We went to bed about 2am. NOT a good idea when I have to be up at 8am! And I probably didn't fall asleep until 3am because I forgot my TUMS! I was about to die with that heartburn and I've still got a cough! I was tossing and turning most of the night. I was praying "God, please do not let me wake up and think I'm home and puke off the side of the bed." (I have a trash can next to me in my bedroom).

So I woke up at 6:30am instead of 8am. So I got about 4 hours sleep. And we went non stop from there! We headed to another ladies house to get our hair done and eat breakfast (glorious breakfast! biscuits and gravy and sausage and milk!). Then the other pregnant bridesmaid and I (yes, we're due the EXACT same day! cool!) headed off to the church to decorate the columns. Then off to the reception site to decorate the tables and I made punch. Joel's best friend Steven was the best man in our wedding. He LOVED our punch so I promised to make it for his wedding too. But the bride insisted on red koolaid instead of purple because purple was the farthest color from matching! lol Then we were BACK to the church to get dressed and ready! I was SO HOT in that stupid dress!

So off to the ceremony...I about fell over standing there for 30 min. The ceremony was so messed up. The pastor had the groom repeat the vows, but said them all at once so all the bride said was "I do." It was really weird and Emily was REALLY upset. But I told her...it doesn't matter...you're married now!!! Then we sat at the church for 2 hours for pictures...so by the time we got to the reception site...there were hardly any people! But me and the other pregnant lady ate and ate because we hadn't eaten since breakfast! ahh!!!!!! DH and I headed out to decorate the car with empty soda cans and trash bags and window paint and streamers and lube on the car door handles :) haha. It was hilarious!

But needless to say....by the time I had been standing all day and been in that huge dress for like 9 hours....I was ready to go home!!! So we changed and packed and we were on the road back home about 7 ish. On the way home I was hungry and we stopped at Wendy's and got a 5 piece chicken nugget. I was very nauseous all the way home so I ended up using DH's empty Wendy's cup while I was gagging. My sweet DH was rubbing my back the whole time. I told him not to pull over because I was READY to be home! I don't think the chicken had hit my stomach yet because I was just dry heaving (tmi, I know!). It was awful. It seemed like it took 12 hours to get home.

Well once we get close to home I tell DH I'm still hungry and that might be why I'm still nauseous...so we go back to Wendy's for more chicken nugggets! lol I love them! haha But what happens when I get home?! I sit on our bed...SO HAPPY to be home. DH goes to Walmart to get me some Tylenol PM and Triamenic so I can sleep. I eat my chicken nuggets and lay down. I start coughing...like I do every night. And I throw up. And I throw up again. And I throw up again. And again. By that time DH got home and he emptied the trash for me :( He gave me my meds and something to drink. I felt much better after throwing up. But this was probably the worst vomiting I have had. It hurt my face. That was awful.

So that's my update! Our next appointment is not until May 22nd! This coming Friday is my last day of school! And May 6th for graduation is fast approaching!

Oh...and just for you Brooke....the pic of me with my goody bag :)

First Ultrasound!

So today was our first appointment!!! Let me just say I am so happy that we are staying with the same ObGyn because she just about hit the floor when she saw us!!! She said "This is surely a miracle! I mean...especially with all the odds against you guys..." I couldn't agree more! So we went over paper work...I was given a cute little goody bag...haha. And we got an ultrasound!!!


I am just in such awe that I am really pregnant :)

I took SO many pictures! LOL I took one of us in the car before we went in, one of the room....one of DH and our nurse practitioner (who has been with us since a year TTC) and a picture of me with my goody bag. LOL I just took a bunch. But we only took one pic of the ultrasound with my camera. We will get a CD of future ultrasounds.

She said I was measuring 6 weeks 1 day. I was actually 6 weeks 6 days. But she is not concerned at all. She said my EDD is still Dec 4th. Which is our nephew's bday :) We got to hear the heartbeat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was the most precious moment! DH started to get a little teary eyed...so of course I did too! It's just been so long awaited...it was just such a special moment! The heartbeat was 115 bpm and she said that was healthy. They took a ton of blood and poked me a gazillion times! Ugh! But we just walked out of there beaming!!! :)

In some strange news...my foster mom is in the hospital with pneumonia. :( She was sick last night and my dad called to tell me he may need us to watch my brother and sister. But instead, he took off last night and tonite. She had an appointment today and they admitted her. She will be there at least until Saturday. But she was very happy to see the ultrasound pics! :)

And lastly, DH and I will be out of the state this weekend for his best friend's wedding in Kentucky. I hope everyone is doing as fabulous as I am!!! :)

Oh...and PS...here's the long awaited belly pic from today...

Week 6 of Pregnancy :)

Let me just start with...I LOVE BEING PREGNANT.

I seriously can't describe it in words. We had a family get together for Easter yesterday. I am already showing. It's totally bloat...but still. I look like I'm already 4 months or something. So anywho...my aunt is super excited. She wanted to do a bunch of old wives tales to see what I'm having. Apparently...I'm having a girl! LOL But we'll see about that.

Alright...moving on. So my step mom...who I was really surprised was so happy for us...didn't last long. She said something along the lines of "Well what made you guys think to get pregnant now? And aren't you worried about how to manage?" And I usually don't stand up to her and my dad....so I was proud of myself when I said "It may not be the most appropriate time with Joel not having a job now...but no amount of money would show how much I am going to love this baby. I don't regret a thing." Go me :)

So now I'll tell you about my belly. I wish I hadn't left my camera at my aunt's because now I can't post the belly pics. Oh my belly is so huge already. Some of my family thought it was funny...my dad, decided to use it as a jab against my weight. I am so so so used to my dad and his wife saying things about my weight. It's so annoying. So...as we're leaving I go to say goodbye to my little brother that my dad is holding. My dad says "She's gonna give you a little nephew!" And I said "Or a little niece!" And my dad said "Well I think you're having twins..." THANKS DAD.

And of course....NO ONE BELIEVES ME when I tell them I have NOT GAINED ANY WEIGHT! But I really haven't! It is all bloat (and gas! haha)! I weigh...hold your breath....272 and I'm 5'10". So far since I found out I was pregnant I have weighed between 268-274. So as far as symptoms...nothing too bad. I threw up last night which was just fantastic...lol. But besides that, just need to eat when I'm hungry...and I'm good. Right now I am battling with allergies really bad...and it sucks to not be able to take anything for them. I'm getting really bad headaches because of the drainage...and I don't sleep well at night because of it. Also, the coughing doesn't help because when I'm nauseous and I cough...I throw up. So that's not fun.

So our first appointment is Thursday! Can't wait!

Aversions, Cravings...FOOD!

I AM HUNGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am hungry all the time 24/7. I practically stay hungry. I need to eat about every 3-4 hours so I don't get that extra bad tummy growl. But I'm still trying to figure out what I can carry with me, how I can eat while working (I'm a sign language interpreter-so my hands are pretty busy), and what I can eat.

Aversions: Just about everything cooked at home. Everything I make myself, by the time I've made it, I don't want it. In fact, I will not eat it. My DH has been cooking everything so that I will actually eat. I do not like anything ground turkey (which is what we use as a substitute for ground beef in every recipe), I HATE water, I don't really want a salad, I'm not too crazy about potatoes...and FRUIT. I really can't stand any kind of fruit. I ate some pineapple mixed into my ice cream last night so I could some kind of fruit serving. I think I'm going to have to go the juice route to get fruit. I can't eat any of it!

Cravings: TACO BELL. I am stinkin in love with those 89 cent cheesy double beef burritos!!! I can eat one or two at a time. I could eat this morning, noon, and night. And last night DH made me a bacon, tomato, and mayo sandwich and it was AMAZING! It was so good I asked him to make me another one...and one for lunch today :) I have noticed that I am not really hungry for anything during the day and just kind of have to force myself to eat a little something. But at night! Oh at night I want everything!!!

So tomorrow I go to try on my bridesmaids dress for DH's best friends wedding. I got fitted last week the day before I found out I was pregnant. And boy did she make that dress tight! So I am hoping and praying that it still fits (it's only a week later!) and their wedding is a week from Saturday...so I hope I can make it another week!

Sad news is I have gained back those 3 pounds I lost because instead of puking I have been eating :) haha. So I'm trying my best to be extra careful...at least until the wedding...to make sure I don't go crazy.

Our first appointment to see the baby bean is in a week! I'm so excited I can't stand it! Every night before I go to bed I still look at that positive test. And at least once a day I tell DH "Honey...I'm pregnant!" Because I'm still on cloud 9. Everyone from church is just so happy for us! We have been told by tons of people that we will be great parents. I still stand back and can't believe this is happening for us. I am so thankful everyday for this precious miracle. I can't even describe it!!!

Week 5 of Pregnancy!

I honestly cannot believe I am writing this blog. I have been so stuck on when to start a new post because I keep logging in and reading my "I'm Pregnant!" post and I just stared at it. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would get pregnant like this. It is so surreal.

I feel quite odd now too. I'm kind of stuck in between being an IF survivor and a mommy. I have joined a new message board on babyzone called Pregnancy After Infertility. But I was asked to host the December Due Date Club. I accepted, but then I logged in and the first post a I read was from a girl that is 17 and just found out she was pregnant and her and her boyfriend are planning on getting married, but don't know when now that they're expecting. How am I supposed to have anything in common with her?! Oh yea...we're both pregnant. But I have a feeling this hosting thing will be a struggle...

I feel so lost without offering my support to the ladies on the TTC 9+months board. But I have made my promise to not post there often because I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. I've been there, done that. And as excited as I am for myself, I have left some incredibly fantastic women back on that board that are still struggling. I will be praying for them everyday that God blesses them.

Now for the fun stuff....I am sick, sick, sick! And it is FABULOUS! I have morning/noon/night/all the time sickness! But I am honestly enjoying every minute of it! LOL I have actually lost 3 pounds because I have been puking my guts out and not eating. DH claims my boobs are getting bigger (well actually he said my 'areolas' but I figured that was too graphic!). I am not really craving any foods...I'm actually quite the opposite. I have food aversions to everything! I'm very very picky right now. On top of that I am hungry about every 3-4 hours, but I only eat a little bit. I threw up last night at church and DH rushed out to get me ginger snaps and ginger-ale. The cookies are incredibly helpful! The ginger-ale...well, I'm not a fan of soda...so I'm working on it. The hardest thing for me is to not have my sugar free crystal light tea! I'm dying of thirst and DH will only let me have water or milk right now til I can find a healthy alternative.

In other news...I have told just about every single person that I know!!! It has been so fantastic and I have just been on cloud 9! My sister was by far the most excited for us! The least excited was probably my dad...but he didn't say anything negative at all...so we're doing alright! My DH has been at my beck and call 24/7! He is so excited! I love him to death! He cooked supper tonite and did the dishes and everything! He is trying so hard to help me out! And I'm not gonna lie...I'm lovin it!

And the BIG news!!! I called my Ob/Gyn today and set up my first appointment! They told me I didn't need to come in for bloodwork?? But anyway...my first appointment is set for April 16th, 2009 at 10:30am. And here's the real kicker...this was the day for our FIRST RE appointment!!! OMG!!!!!!!! We are CANCELLING that! haha I will be about 6 weeks and 6 days for our first appointment which is kind of on the early side of things as far as seeing the heart beat...but the nurse said we would! So that appointment will give me my official due date and we will hopefully be able to see the heart beat!

In other momma news...our puppies are now 1 week old! I swear they have doubled in size! They are absolutely adorable! I need to get pics up!

IM PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I finally broke down and took a HPT at 11pm Friday night :)

And I took it and then immediately left the bathroom. DH and I sat on the bed for exactly 3 minutes...and at 10:55pm he got up and saw it. He stared at it and rocked back and forth a bit. And I said "What does it say?!" And he looked at me and said "You're pregnant." And I was speechless!

We stared at each other and hugged and hugged and cried and cried. We called his Aunt Becky first. She is the BEST. Then I called my sister and said "Abby, guess what? You're going to be an aunt!" She was probably the most thrilled person! Then I called my mom and Joel called his best friend and fiancee. We tried and tried to get ahold of his mom, but it was late. His dad works nights at the Walmart down the street so we hopped in the car to see his dad. He about fell over. Then on the way home DH called his brother (yes, THAT BIL) and said "Hey, when's Korben's ( our nephew) birthday?" And Matthew answered "December 4th" And Joel said "Well about 2 days later we're having our own!" And Matthew said "Really? Reeaaallllyyy?!?!?"

And from then on it's been calling best friends and updating things online :) haha My mom asked me who we would tell or if we would wait. And I said "there is no way I'm waiting to tell anyone. It's been too long and I'm too excited!" So most likely Sunday at church I will be telling everyone! However, I am waiting until Easter to tell my dad and his side of the family.

SO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am due around December 6th, 2009! I can't believe it! But I feel so so so blessed! After all that we've been though...it took a break...and it worked! :)

I will forever remember this day :)

CD 36...Still NO AF!

So I guess I'm testing in the morning...

OMG if it's negative I will just die!!!

But I bought a 2 pack, so I guess if it's negative tomorrow I will try again a few days later.

And DH has offered to look at it for me so it doesn't make me quite as upset. It was a suggestion from one of the girls on my message board. She said when she takes tests she doesn't look at them and asks her DH to do it for her. She said it helps with emotions. So I'm gonna try that approach.

WISH ME LUCK! I will update tomorrow!

CD 35...

AND NO AF.


OMG.

My heart is racing. I'm now like...5 days late.

No symptoms. Except extreme nausea this morning, but I am NOT fooling myself.

There's no way I'm pregnant...there's no way I'm pregnant...

So DH has insisted that if AF does not start tomorrow...we're buying a test to take Saturday morning. OMG. I have not tested since Christmas, and we all know how that turned out.

I just keep telling myself...I'm not pregnant, I'm not pregnant...I'm NOT pregnant.