Financial Woes

I didn't go to my ObGyn appointment Friday. I rescheduled it for this coming Friday. I had to cancel it on a whim...

DH may not have a job come tonight :(

They are laying off 1/5 of his company and all weekend DH has been stuck in rut. He has tried to call many people...some have said "we all got canned" others have said "if you haven't been called, then you've still got a job." So needless to say, he is freaking out!

Our baby dreams are on hold now. I told him that no matter what happens...if we lose our house, our car...everything...I would be right there squeezing into our cardboard box with him on the side of the road in the rain. And I would still love him more than I do even today :) He's the best. And I feel so helpless because I do not know what to do to help him cope with the "not knowing."

However...since he has not gotten a call...it seems like there is a good chance that he still has his job. He is going to go in tonight. And if he is told to go home, then so be it. And if he's still got his job...then so be it. We've been talking about all weekend and we are prepared for what the Lord has in store for us. It will be a blessing either way. If he got laid off then we will thank the Lord for this job that has brought us this far and thank Him for the job he has yet to give my husband. If God choses to let him keep this job, then we praise Him for letting him still have a job after everyone but 5 people on his process were let go.

That's right...only 5 people are left on his process. He was told this lay off is going strictly by seniority. DH will have been at this job for 2 years this February. That is a REALLY long time considering the turn over rate at this job. However, people with more seniority than him can take over his job and he, in turn, can take over a job from someone with less seniority than him. So he may go in tonight to find that someone else took him job and he has been moved down. But that's ok. We are ready for anything.

So I am nervous about tonight. If he still has a job then alright! I can go to my appointment on Friday and we can continue...but if not. Oh God, if not...I will be stuck. We will be stuck. There will be no further testing, meds, etc to have our baby. Now I know what you're thinking "If her husband lost his job they don't NEED a baby! They couldn't afford one!" But that is not fair. My BIL and SIL have a son and one on the way and BIL works 2 jobs and SIL works part time and goes to school. They just bought a trailer to put out on my MIL and FIL's land. How do they afford a son and a baby?? How are they "worthy" of children right now? The truth is...that they weren't financially ready for Korben....or this new baby. But that didn't stop them from trying for Korben or from "accidentally" conceiving this baby. So the truth is...DH and I may not be able to afford a baby if he gets laid off...we would make it. We have savings and it's not like DH wouldn't look for another job!

But the sad reality of it is...if I just "fell pregnant" it wouldn't be an issue...but putting forth MONEY for IF is one of those "you're money could be better spent right now" situations. If it was a baby, no one would think twice. But for some reason it is SO WRONG to put forth money to actually HAVE that BABY!!!

So we're stuck right now. With no baby and no way to pursue that baby right now :(