Sunday, October 12, 2008

So it's been a week

So I figured I would write something again...a lot has happened. Two more girls on my message board got their's STILL not me :(

I am in my "fertile window" right now. Started seeing watery CM Friday...DH and I have only BDed once. For some reason this time around I don't feel like telling him anything. I feel like if we decide to BD then that's okay; and if we don't, that's okay too. The problem with me is that I KNOW now when I am ovulating...I have been paying attention to my body's signs for so long now that I just KNOW. So it is terribly hard to not say anything. It's also terribly hard for me to not think about it and notice it.

In 2 weeks I will know...AF will show up...or I will finally get my long awaited BFP.

Yesterday was the fall festival at my old K-8 school. Me and BFF have run the alumni booth since we graduated the 8th grade in '01. This was our 8th year. We saw a bunch of our old class members who wandered over to the booth to say hey and catch up for a minute. One of those was a girl who had gone to school with us since Kindergarten. She got married 2 weeks before me and DH. She is also 6 months pregnant. She looked sooooo pregnant. And I was sooooo jealous. She was telling me how this was the first day she had been out for so long and how tired she was...she was huge! And I couldn't stop telling her how happy I was for her. And yet...I so wanted it to me this year...the one that everyone runs up to because they haven't seen me in a year...and I hear "Oh my gosh! You're pregnant!" And I go through the motions of telling them how far along I am, and how tired I am, and how excited I am....but not this year. Maybe next year....But hey, I hope to be pregnant now...which means I will have already had the baby by the next festival...

Well, there you have it. My goal. I want to have a baby, or at least be pregnant by next year's fall festival. Fingers crossed.